moving forward

Back in May, to mend a battered heart, I fled to Italy with a mission to explore the University of Gastronomic Science in the tiny town of Pollenzo. I have this intensely vivid memory of walking by myself between the school’s old walls on that hot spring afternoon and pebbles crunching under my feet. The smell of spring, where everything is absurdly fragrant, gave me the same sense of euphoria I get everywhere. I simultaneously realized two things; I could do this and that “this” had already begun. It just took my brain a little longer to catch up.

When I got home I spent a month filling out my application, writing 26 essays questions and working my way around a maddening Italian government. I submitted my portfolio like I had hit the red button in the oval office. All I could do was wait….I HATE waiting…

Move forward 7 months… The morning of knowing finally came…early. I sat in my kitchen with Kudra flopped over my keyboard when the email arrived…Twenty-five people were accepted into this program. I was given the random number 198.  I opened the list. 23, 455, 199, … I scanned the list and my heart pounded in my chest….then I saw it, 198. I had to blink twice and look again. Was I really in? Holy Shit. Here we go.. Deep breath.. I am moving to Italy. I am quitting my job, leaving people I love, paying for this how? I will figure it out! I AM MOVING TO ITALY!

Now it is December 22. Winter Solstice. Each day I try to complete some small step forward. I occupy myself with other things but there is no doubt, I am moving away. For one year. People move to other countries or across their own country all the time. I wasn’t doing something extraordinary, but to me, it is everything. An old soul recently told me that my life is a movie waiting to be made. I think life is an ever-changing, slightly maddening, always moving picture show. I am going to have a kick-ass sound track.

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